Some months back I had written in one my editorials what a lot a 300 + members in a group can do. Today the dream is taking shape and grown into 370 + members in the b2w forum Yahoo group and another 350 subscribers who have opted in to receive the ‘Born To Win’ Newsletter.

‘Born To Win’ is a network of people working towards the goal of bringing success to all whom we come in contact with. While helping others to succeed we will find our own success and much more. True happiness! Each one of us will work for the success of all of us in this forum and all of us will contribute to the success of each one.”

What a great deal of good 600 people could do to the society. When a single man can bring a revolution what will happen when the potential of 600 persons are unleashed for the good of people. It could bring a sea change in the society.

So friends, let us network. Let us contribute ideas, thoughts, suggestions, whatever for improving ourselves. Let us help people by bringing them solutions to their problems. Let us rise above the ordinary and mundane to greater thoughts and ideas.

Let all this be not a work of one person. Let it be a movement. A movement owned by all of us. So let’s get started today! Right now.

No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more.

And worst of all -- often your efforts will be taken for granted. Unless you can say No, the situation will not change in fact it may get even more difficult.

That is unless you can say No to these unreasonable people
because very often to win respect from people you have to
sometimes say No.

Here are 4 great ways to stand up for yourself and say No:

1. Soften the No

Instead of shouting No at the person and creating an uncomfortable encounter you can instead soften the No by postponing your help.

For example --

- No, I am busy right now but I can help you in 40 minutes time
- No, I have other things to do at the moment
- Right now I do not have a free moment maybe later on
- I would love to help but not at this minute, try John

What you are doing is softening the No by saying not now rather than an outright No. This is a lot easier to do especially when dealing with people who intimidate you.

2. Negotiate

To deal with people who want your help but are slow to help you - negotiate! When they want something from you, you have the power - use it!

Say you are happy to help on one condition -- that they help you immediately when you seek their help. They will usually agree because they have to! If they say No, again as above, postpone helping them if you can.

There are some people who view the world in terms of what is in it for them and the concerns of others are of secondary importance. With these people you are wasting your time talking about your needs.

For that reason you have to link your needs to their gains by negotiating - tell them they will get what they want IF you get what you want.

3. Say No When You Do Not Care About the Outcome

When you are flexing this new found ability to say No for the first time use every opportunity to get some practice e.g.
- In a restaurant, say no to the first table you are offered
- at home say No to coffee when everyone else says Yes, have tea
- In a store say yes to an offer of help but No to the product

What I mean is to say No when you are dealing with people whose approval is not that important to you. You will quickly learn through experience that it is not the end of the world if you say no and the other person is not pleased with you.

4. Say No to the Big Request and Yes to a Smaller One

Sometimes you are going to be asked to do more than your fair share. If you cannot avoid the job you may need to consider doing part of it.

A good way to handle these requests is to offer to do part of the job but not all of it. For example:
- I will clean 2 rooms if you do the other 3 rooms
- I can do 5 pages of the report as long as you give me the data
- If you start the project I will finish it

By standing up for yourself on small points you will gradually assert yourself more often on the big issues. The main thing is to get started today on winning back control of your interactions with anyone who pushes you too far.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Join the Born to Win Yahoo Groups by clicking on http://in.groups.yahoo.com/group/b2wforum/join. You can network with professionals globally, get advice from our members on various issues regarding your career or life, and participate in social causes and charities. Don't forget to download your copy of the 'Goals Builder Workbook' and other success e-books from the Files section of Born To Win yahoo group.

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Many people go through lifedoing the same things again and again but expecting different results.

The important thing in the Olympic game is not to win but to take part. The important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not that we have conquered but that we have fought well

Knowing others leads to wisdom; Knowing the self leads to Enlightenment. Mastering others requires force; mastering the self calls for Inner Strength

Internet Addicts Anonymous - Internet Addiction

Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internet Alcoholics Anonymous, we can help.

Yes, you--we're talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked downstairs to see if your family still lives with you?

We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counseling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help you cope with your problem. We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured," you most certainly can recover.

5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do business with anyway?

6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?

8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at at: 1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE'SSAKE Internetaholics Anonymous We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.

	Born To Win Newsletter 25
	Issue 25
In This Issue Editorial Article : 4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You For Granted Free Resources Quotes To Motivate Just Relax-Internet Addictions Anonymous Links: Born To Win Forum My Articles Archives Subscribe Ask for Born To Win Training Program Profiles E-mail: b2wforum@yahoo.co.in We’re on the Web! Born To Win Forum	Hello Friends, Some months back I had written in one my editorials what a lot a 300 + members in a group can do. Today the dream is taking shape and grown into 370 + members in the b2w forum Yahoo group and another 350 subscribers who have opted in to receive the ‘Born To Win’ Newsletter. ‘Born To Win’ is a network of people working towards the goal of bringing success to all whom we come in contact with. While helping others to succeed we will find our own success and much more. True happiness! Each one of us will work for the success of all of us in this forum and all of us will contribute to the success of each one.” What a great deal of good 600 people could do to the society. When a single man can bring a revolution what will happen when the potential of 600 persons are unleashed for the good of people. It could bring a sea change in the society. So friends, let us network. Let us contribute ideas, thoughts, suggestions, whatever for improving ourselves. Let us help people by bringing them solutions to their problems. Let us rise above the ordinary and mundane to greater thoughts and ideas. Let all this be not a work of one person. Let it be a movement. A movement owned by all of us. So let’s get started today! Right now. Be a winner. Make everyone a winner. R.G. Srinivasan 4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted By Peter Murphy No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more. And worst of all -- often your efforts will be taken for granted. Unless you can say No, the situation will not change in fact it may get even more difficult. That is unless you can say No to these unreasonable people because very often to win respect from people you have to sometimes say No. Here are 4 great ways to stand up for yourself and say No: 1. Soften the No Instead of shouting No at the person and creating an uncomfortable encounter you can instead soften the No by postponing your help. For example -- - No, I am busy right now but I can help you in 40 minutes time - No, I have other things to do at the moment - Right now I do not have a free moment maybe later on - I would love to help but not at this minute, try John What you are doing is softening the No by saying not now rather than an outright No. This is a lot easier to do especially when dealing with people who intimidate you. 2. Negotiate To deal with people who want your help but are slow to help you - negotiate! When they want something from you, you have the power - use it! Say you are happy to help on one condition -- that they help you immediately when you seek their help. They will usually agree because they have to! If they say No, again as above, postpone helping them if you can. There are some people who view the world in terms of what is in it for them and the concerns of others are of secondary importance. With these people you are wasting your time talking about your needs. For that reason you have to link your needs to their gains by negotiating - tell them they will get what they want IF you get what you want. 3. Say No When You Do Not Care About the Outcome When you are flexing this new found ability to say No for the first time use every opportunity to get some practice e.g. - In a restaurant, say no to the first table you are offered - at home say No to coffee when everyone else says Yes, have tea - In a store say yes to an offer of help but No to the product What I mean is to say No when you are dealing with people whose approval is not that important to you. You will quickly learn through experience that it is not the end of the world if you say no and the other person is not pleased with you. 4. Say No to the Big Request and Yes to a Smaller One Sometimes you are going to be asked to do more than your fair share. If you cannot avoid the job you may need to consider doing part of it. A good way to handle these requests is to offer to do part of the job but not all of it. For example: - I will clean 2 rooms if you do the other 3 rooms - I can do 5 pages of the report as long as you give me the data - If you start the project I will finish it By standing up for yourself on small points you will gradually assert yourself more often on the big issues. The main thing is to get started today on winning back control of your interactions with anyone who pushes you too far. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm Free Resources Join the Born to Win Yahoo Groups by clicking on http://in.groups.yahoo.com/group/b2wforum/join. You can network with professionals globally, get advice from our members on various issues regarding your career or life, and participate in social causes and charities. Don't forget to download your copy of the 'Goals Builder Workbook' and other success e-books from the Files section of Born To Win yahoo group. ________________________________________________________________________ Quotes To Motivate Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. -Calvin Coolidge High expectations are the key to everything -Sam Walton The biggest career challenge you face today is not competition, but yourself. Many people go through lifedoing the same things again and again but expecting different results. The important thing in the Olympic game is not to win but to take part. The important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not that we have conquered but that we have fought well -Baron DeCoubertin Knowing others leads to wisdom; Knowing the self leads to Enlightenment. Mastering others requires force; mastering the self calls for Inner Strength -Lao Tzu Just Relax Internet Addicts Anonymous - Internet Addiction Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internet Alcoholics Anonymous, we can help. Yes, you--we're talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked downstairs to see if your family still lives with you? We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counseling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help you cope with your problem. We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured," you most certainly can recover. We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do you: 1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal? 2) Check e-mail more than five times a day? 3) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping? 4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online? 5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do business with anyway? 6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions? 7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head? 8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome? 9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box? 10) All of the above? If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at at: 1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE'SSAKE Internetaholics Anonymous We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem. Call us today! That is, if you can power off to free up your phone line:) (Source Unknown)
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